• THE GOTTMAN METHOD THERAPY APPROACH

    I help couples through what is called the "Gottman Method,” an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The creators of this form of therapy, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, are world renowned relationship experts with a background in both psychological research and psychotherapy.  

    GOTTMAN METHOD COUPLES THERAPY

    Couples who enter into Gottman Method Couples Therapy begin with an assessment process that then informs the therapeutic framework and intervention.

    Assessment

    A conjoint session, followed by individual interviews with each partner are conducted. Couples complete questionnaires and then receive detailed feedback on their relationship.

    Therapeutic Framework

    We will decide on the frequency and duration of the sessions together. Some couples will see me for an entire morning (3 hours) for the assessment, while other choose to complete it over several weeks. The average couple sees me for one session per week, typically an hour to and hour and a half, for 10-12 weeks; however, some couples see me more or less than this, depending on their concerns.

    Therapeutic Interventions

    Gottman interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes which enhances the couples shared goals. Relapse prevention is also addressed.

    GOALS AND PRINCIPLES OF THE GOTTMAN METHOD

    The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy in conflicting situations, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

     “The Sound Relationship House Theory”The Gottman Institute Sound relationship house theory

    THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY


    Build Love Maps
    How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?

    Share Fondness and Admiration
    The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)

    Turn Towards Instead of Away
    State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.

    The Positive Perspective
    The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.

    Manage Conflict
    The Gottman say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.

    Make Life Dreams Come True
    Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.

    Create Shared Meaning
    Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.

    Trust
    This is the state that occurs when a person knows that his or her partner acts and thinks to maximize that person’s best interests and benefits, not just the partner’s own interests and benefits. In other words, this means, “my partner has my back and is there for me.”

    Commitment
    This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing your partner’s positive qualities and nurturing gratitude by comparing the partner favorably with real or imagined others, rather than trashing the partner by magnifying negative qualities, and nurturing resentment by comparing unfavorably with real or imagined others.

    WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM THE GOTTMAN METHOD?

    In his New York Times bestselling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman writes, “Although you may feel your situation is unique, the Gottmans  have found that all marital conflicts fall into two categories: Either they can be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means they will be part of your lives forever, in some form or another.” Gottman says that 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual problems, and these are of particular focus in much of the work performed by our Gottman-trained therapists.

    The Gottman Method is designed to support couples across all economic, racial, sexual orientation, and cultural sectors. Outcome research has shown Gottman Method Couples Therapy to be effective for treating same-sex relationships.

    Some of the relationship issues that may be addressed in therapy include:

    • Frequent conflict and arguments

    • Poor communication

    • Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation

    • Specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting

    Even couples with “normal” levels of conflict may benefit from the Gottman Method Couples Therapy. I aim to help couples build stronger relationships overall and healthier ways to cope with issues as they arise in the future.

     

    READY TO GET STARTED WITH GOTTMAN THERAPY?

    SCHEDULE YOUR FIRST APPOINTMENT TODAY!

     

    Don't wait any longer to invest in your relationship. Get started today by calling us at 253-260-3200, or request a free phone consultation. You may also request a session using the form below. I would be happy to speak to you about any questions you have.  

    STILL HAVE QUESTIONS? SCHEDULE A FREE PHONE CONSULTATION!

    I offer free 15 minute phone consultations; we can discuss your goals for counseling, and I can answer any of your questions. Call me at 253-260-3200 or set up your free phone consultation.